What I want part 1

I am 44 but will be 45 in July and not looking forward to it.  As I was walking, I thought about the men in the town where I love. they are about like jobs here too: I have no interest in dating men who rather live in this sorry old town just as I have no interest working here. I want out! I have lived in same town too long and I feel as if I can’t breathe and that I am suffocating.  I look at men everywhere I go and wonder: “If I date you, would you mind If I move?”  You see, my mind is set on Washington State, but I can not get anyone to understand.

“Washington have the same laws as any state.”

“Maybe you can try getting out more.”

“Have you tried volunteering?”

Those  are some of the comments I receive on Facebook. I don’t blame them. They don’t  know what it is like to be me.  If I told anyone about my father, they would think I am putting him in a bad light. I know my relatives would so I keep quiet about it. My feelings are between God and me. He knows what I have gone through. In fact, I would not have these desires if  He did not give them to me.

I do not want a man whose wife divorced him. That means he has some baggage and I am not willing to deal with it. I don’t want a man who don’t care about his body because his body is the temple of the Lord. I don’t want  a man who smokes and who has tattoos on his bodies. I also don’t want a man who is not willing to move for me.

What I want? I want a man who is after God’s own heart. Who loves Jesus first than me. I want a man who is caring, honest and is understanding. I want him to look past my flaws and see into my heart. I want one who loves both cats and dogs and is good to his children. I want one who doesn’t have a beard,, five oclock shadow or a goatee. I want one who reads the Bible everyday and will help me grow in it.  Maybe they aren’t any like that, but God knows just the one for me. My question is how do I go about being the fish in the water if I am stuck in muddy water?

There are online dating sites that are out of  the question and most of them aren’t free. Should I give any a try or just hope that somewhere somehow a man will come out of nowhere and sweep me off my feet? I am not getting younger and my days are getting shorter. I have to hold onto the hope I have that someday I will have a family.

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