Sleepless Night

We all know that sleep is important. God has created  us to need sleep. Our bodies gets warned out and we need to be renewed and refreshed in the morning. Satan also knows we need sleep and he desires nothing more than to rob of us it. In the years when my father was alive, I struggled with it many times.  My left leg would become severely attacked with restlessness that nothing can cure it but deliverance. However, as I found by reading “Intercessory Prayer” By Dutch Sheets, is that, I needed some strong intercessors to “lay on” them  my need To “stake” themselves to me and to “carry away” my weakness or burden(Page 70)  I was going to a church that had  strong intercessors or so I thought but when I ask for prayer I got no deliverance. If I would have known this back in the early 2000, I could have asked some people to do just that.  My sister prays for me all the time and prays over my leg but  it wasn’t enough.

I still need strong intercessors. Although not as severe, my left leg would get attacked from time to time. Sometimes prayers work and sometimes just by laying by my sister, but not all the the time. I still suffer with it and  now have been sleeping less than 7 hours a night on average.  I like this verse: My Grace is sufficient for you for my strength is made perfect in weakness. I know that God will help me  when I need strength to make it through the day. he will give me the  grace that I need. My other leg is just a  physical problem and I can take measures to prevent it.Image


Psalms 23 My thoughts

Lately I have been thinking about the Psalms 23rd. It was written by David although he was a shepherd yet I am pretty sure he was a ware of another shepherd in his life–God. Some where in the same book, the psalmist also wrote that “We are alike sheep and have gone astray” and we are also  referred to the sheep of his hands. Jesus also calls us his sheep and himself the good shepherd. I am thankful for his role  as my Shepherd.  Each line stands for something but I have forgotten most of its meaning  so I will do my best here:

I SHALL NOT WANT( He is all I need)
HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES.  (Rest and nourishment for sheep also graze among the pastures)
HE RESTORES MY SOUL( my soul includes my mind will and emotions and  I am pretty sure that the events of  the day can wear a person down)
HE LEADS ME IN THE PATHS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS (When we let Jesus lead us, we can’t go wrong. Our paths are always right) FOR HIS NAME SAKE

YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH(This means  we will  temporarily experience dark times in our lives) I WILL FEAR NO EVIL (He is with as, keeping watch over us and protecting us) FOR YOU ARE WITH ME(He is Immanuel, an ever present help in trouble) THY ROD AND THEY STAFF THEY COMFORT ME( The rod is the rod of  discipline. Sheep are dumb and don’t know any better and needs correction just as we do from time to time. and the Staff is the stick with the hook that is used to hook around the sheep neck to bring him back onto the path) It is nice to know that when we will go off the path, he will bring us back.

Here comes the best part: YOU  PREPARE A TABLE BEFORE ME IN THE PRESENCE OF MY ENEMIES. (What do you think it means he prepares a table? A feast! A Banquet! It is a time of celebration and to me that means we made it through the valley!) YOU ANOINT MY HEAD WITH OIL(Preparing us for service maybe?) MY CUP what? Did you notice it did not say “Is full” meaning is enough nor did it say “Half full” meaning  barely not enough or empty(Lack lack lack) but that it RUNS OVER! Glory to God, it is  a cup running over (MORE THAN ENOUGH) and what does the cup stand for? BLESSINGS! He wants to bless us more than we can imagine!.  SURELY GOODNESS AND MERCY(God’s loving kindness which is better than life) SHALL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE! (You don’t even  have to look for it because it is right behind you) AND I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD for how long? FOREVER!

A PRAYER: Thank you, Jesus for being my Shepherd. I know I can not go wrong when you lead me. I know  that you are all I need.

I wanted to post a  video with it, but it was published separetely

Just For Fun

lately my blogs have been on a serious note, but today I thought I would write a short story. This is almost a true story. My day started out in a typical way; getting up with only having 6 hours of sleep because my cat was taking up too much space on the  bed and my left leg being a tad bit on the restless side. It was also a warm night and no matter of how much my fan was going it did no good.  However, God was good! My sister had coffee and a roll already for me today.

         “Sorry your leg was restless again.” She was always sympathetic about my leg. In fact, she would pray concerning it.

         “I’ll survive. I have a big day today. I have an appointment with my characters and Ia m on a  deadline.”

        “Don’t forget we are going out to lunch today.”

        “We are?” My mother was suffering from a mild form of Alzheimer  She had forgot  we had planned this last night. “I’ll have to see how much money I have on hand.”

         My sister remembered she needed to see  if we have enough money for groceries. Grocery shopping was my duty and I had made up my mind that even though it takes me away from my writing, I would go and be a blessing as I shop.  “Mom! We only have a ten dollar bill!”

        “Here we go again.” My sister and I had enough of this and wanted out. It was enough for my sister  to have to take care of  our dying father who  acts like a 3 years old every day  who did not get his way, but the constant reminding, her slow pace and everything else. “My fault. I forgot to remind her yesterday.”
           It has been decided  that she will go to the bank, but we wondered if she was going to meet us at McDonald’s.  We decided to go anyway and  sure enough  she almost forgot, but we made it.  We always enjoy eating there. It was like a tradition: 3 double cheeseburger mini meals and it was delicious. We even had time to read our books and with my sister being on probation from her classwork, she was able to read her book.
            The day got rougher for them and interesting to me. I met some people on the bus that I used to know but didn’t want to interact with. What I really wanted to do was talk to the bus driver because I was working on a story idea, but when I saw this girl get on, I  climbed to the back. “Oh well.”  I took out my book and began reading it. It was giving me ideas. The only thing I didn’t like  about the book was it was too worldly. Words were used in it that   I did not care to hear. “Someday I will read a Christian Mystery.”
       At the third stop, I saw  someone I wish  I didn’t know  get on the bus. “Heeey, Ruth! How is it going?”  It was Leslie Westen. 

         To be polite, I said, “Hello, Leslie.”  Why is it when I show no interest in someone he continues to show one in me? I must be some kind of magnet or something. I continue to show disinterest as I read my book.

         “What are you reading there?” He tried to read the cover. “How to not make Apple Pie.” He read. “What is it? Some sort of  cookbook?”

          “It is a mystery. It is about a baker being accused of poisoning her competition.”

          “Ohhhhhh.” Then he started  babbling away  about  subjects I could care less about, especially about his faith. 
          I was so glad the bus reached my destination. I  said a nice “goodbye,” to Leslie and whispered “A good riddance” after I disembarked the bus   To my disappointment he  got off too. “Why me?” I thought.
        “Didn’t you want to be a blessing?”  God asked.

        “Not to him! He is a Catholic! I hate his faith! ”  But I knew what God was getting at. He told Abraham  to all the families of the earth. I just have to be nicer is all but not show interest. “You need to  shop here too?”

     “Going to Target. See you later.” He walked away.

     Thank God! I thought and went merrily on my way to Wally World.

     I didn’t see Leslie when I finished shopping so for me it was a good thing. I liked him but not for dating purposes.  As I waited about 15 minutes for the bus, I couldn’t  wait to get back  to my writing. On Facebook I have received some unwanted comments  from some well meaning people. I know they are trying to help, but it was not doing its job. I thanked them for their advice and told them I would pray about it.  My first two novels didn’t sell well because I followed bad advice so I learn not to take everything said seriously unless I felt the Lord telling me to follow it.

       The bus was late! I looked at my watch and it read 2:50pm! It should have come already. To add to my agitation, I saw him coming.  I smiled but only  with pretense as he walked towards me. “Bus is late?”
       Obviously he doesn’t keep time as I do about  when the bus  arrives so I humored him and said, ‘Looks like it.” 

       “We will have to  catch our bus the next hour.”

       I just as soon go on Route 1. I thought. I tried to drown him out as he babbled on again by  getting involved with my book.

        The Lord worked in my favor for when  the bus arrived, my other bus hasn’t. I made a phone call to my sister and told her I would be late.

        “The bus was late for us too so we walked home. Mom is tired and complaining about her achy legs.”

        “I can imagine.”  My mother not only has Alzheimer but Arthritis in her legs. After all she was 85. She also has been very dependent upon us for every help she can get.  “I should be home soon.”

         That was the extent of my day. When I got home, I put groceries away and gave  everyone a candy bar. We all had a long day and I felt we deserved one. I got on my computer and forgot about my troubles as I got lost in my own little world known as writing.






Getting Published

I finished my second story to send. Actually my third but I have put aside my second for later.  All I need is a publisher or maybe an agent. As you  already may know, Publish America is not one of them after I have  realized and found out they do not guarantee my success. Actually Jesus does, but that besides the point.  The point (which may be blunt or sharp depending on what the reader think) is who will do it? I don’t want some unknown publisher with lots of red flags to publish it yet those who  have none, are very particular about what they published. Kind of like getting a job, don’t you think? Think about it:  If someone  is desperate for money. they might do things that risk them getting caught. Perhaps they feel that no one wants to hire them so they lower themselves and commit crimes. Here is another scenario: Suppose you went to college to get a degree in liberal studies and you get your certificate or credentials then you find out that there are no teaching jobs available however you can get a job flipping burgers. You can not be a successful teacher flipping burgers nor can you become one if you are a teacher’s assistant. Finding a  publisher is the same way.  True, I got my foot in the door and signed a ten years contract which means “I can not submit Marge to another publisher” but my book will not become a success on its own because  they put too high of a price on the book hoping that the authors will take advantage of the discounts offered to them.

So where do I look? A friend suggested that I, an unemployed no income author hire an editor to look at my latest story. Okay, so where will the money come from? I am believing for supernatural increase and favor. God is already working in my favor and I believe that someday I will amaze my friends who also has their books published at PA that my book has become a best seller without anyone’s help. So if hiring an editor is what I need to do then God will have to supply the finances just like he is for my book signing.Image


        This is my cat Harry in the back… well was. You see, he passed away at a very young age. He didn’t  die of any natural causes because he was healthy. No, his life was taken from him when someone in a car (and this is what I believed) decided to run him over. I say that because our street is not a busy street.  It happened on October 27, 2005 but at what time I could not say. I was not in the know because people let me sleep. My father had a premonition( He is the one who says that those  kittens were his), but he did not act on it. Mainly because the spirits in him kept  him from doing do.  My mother is usually up when Harry comes home from his nightly activities so when he did not return home, she did not bother to tell me. She told my sister instead, These things did hurt but I have forgiven them, even father who is now and has been deceased.  But it does not make the hurt go away. When Harry died, a part of me died too. It was like losing your baby.
I have another cat (the one in the front) and since his youth, he has been having problems  because of the spirits in my father. I had many heartaches dealing with Henry but since my father’s passing, he has slowly improved except in one area–his insensitivity.  My heart has been aching and crying out because of the waits and delays and set backs in my life. I have found out that anyone who has their book published by publishers like mine, wont have their books on the best sellers list. People do not want to order books listed as 24.95 and it is too high. Only a handful of friends has bought it. They do that because they want the authors to buy their books in bulk so they offer then low discounts yet still have to pay a high S&H. I also have not heard from the local media either, but I am not giving up. It is just hard. I know it is a faith battle and I am  tired and weary soldier like the warrior in Twilight Paris song. I am also tired of fighting another battle–the battle of my legs. It has been a long time I had to deal with severe restlessness in my legs and  now it has returned!  Something is going on in the unseen which I do not know. I do know one thing and that is I desire GREATLY to return to Washington State. My heart has also been crying out for that. Today, as I cried out my heart, my cat Henry came out. I thought maybe he would sense something was wrong, but instead, he had something to eat, look out my window then left. No sensitivity at all. That was when more tears came.  I wished him back, but I know he can not come back. All I can do is hope for my future cats to come to me. I never had a cat to help me heal.